This article is not to be used without permission from the Founder of T.A.G. Ministries, International
© 2007 TAG Ministries, International /
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In our previous lesson, we looked at a form of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (also known as SAD). SAD is marked by symptoms of depression profound enough to seriously affect work and relationships. This disorder may have its onset in adolescence or early adulthood and, like other forms of depression, occurs more frequently in women than in men. We began looking at the scriptures to understand WHERE the ROOT of your SADness and depression can be found. We learned that God created your spirit, soul and body to be as one. However, SIN has destroyed this unity. When mankind sinned in Adam, that oneness was broken and now our soul fights against the Spirit of God as Paul talked about in Romans chapters 6-7. As believers, our souls are in a constant warfare against our spirit. It is because of this “warfare in our souls that James tells us that our souls must be "saved" or renewed day by day (James 1:21).
1 Thessalonians 5:23
Now may the God of peace
Himself sanctify you completely,
and may your whole spirit, soul and body
be preserved blameless
at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God is interested in all three portions of our being – spirit, soul and body. The Bible says concerning our Savior, "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." (Luke 2:52). This reveals the importance of our mental and emotional development, our physical prowess, our spiritual life with God of worship and communion, and our social interactions with others. God is interested in all of these, and the Bible gives us keys for our development in these areas.
The verse quoted above from 1 Thessalonians supports the view that God is interested in our sanctification – spirit, soul and body.
You are a spirit,
You have a soul,
And you live in a body.
Depression (S.A.D.ness) resides in your soul. Because of this duality within your body (spirit and soul), you must know how to address your sadness both spiritually and naturally. God’s word addresses the spiritual issue because your spiritual issues always affect your soul. Why because that is who you are…a spirit. Your body will return to dust but your spirit will continue to possess a soul for eternity. So, what is your “soul”?
Your soul, which consists of: your mind, your will and your emotions is what forms your personality. Your mind is the place of intellect, logic and reasoning. It gathers and stores information. Like the pantry in a person’s kitchen, some items are stored according to that person’s particular logic. Others have items just randomly placed seemingly no rhyme nor reason to it. Your emotions are based on your thoughts. What you think about a person or thing determines how you feel about a person or thing. There are times when your mind and emotions do not agree. You can have verbal confirmation from a person that they love you, but you may “feel” as if they don’t. So you constantly try to get them to prove their love or you seek their approval when no disapproval has been expressed. Your will is what you set yourself (often described as ‘setting your heart’) to DO something…to act or react.
WHICH IS IN CONTROL?
Your mind (or thoughts) can control your actions.
Your emotions (how you feel) can control your actions.
Or both your mind and emotions can control your actions.
Here’s an example:
You THINK and FEEL someone doesn’t like you based on one or more of the following pieces of information that is stored in your mind from experience (interaction with that person) or observation (watching how they act):
Your Mind – what you think
*a negative “vibe” – you hear the tone in their voice and watch their body language
*an exchange of hurtful words
*they seem to avoid you
*they look at you “funny” or have unpleasant facial expressions when they look at you
*someone told you that this person doesn’t like you
*the person told you from their own lips that they don’t like you
*you don’t like them so you think they don’t like you
*they’ve abused you (verbally, physically, sexually)
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying abuse is all in the mind. It is actual and factual. I’m saying the incident is STORED there…in your memories. Stay with me, ok.
Your Emotions – how you feel
With this information now gathered and stored in your mind, you now FEEL rejected by that person.
Your Will – what you will do about it
Now you set your heart to DO…act or react to what you are thinking, feeling or both. Either your mind (or thoughts) will control your actions or your emotions will control your actions. And sometimes both may determine how you act or react to a person or situation.
Rejected, now you decide:
- To prove yourself to the person – having approval addiction is a dangerous thing. Some will do anything to gain the approval of another. You may spend lots of money on them; have sex with them at their command; agree to engage in illegal acts; or simply try to pamper them with things you know they like, not just because you love them…but because you want buy their approval.
- To defend yourself to the person – you are always on the defense around them. Every statement they make is followed by a statement of defense on your part. You over explain yourself constantly because you feel “misunderstood”. Or you may sulk and build a wall of resentment because you think they just don’t and won’t understand you.
- To villanize others - by constantly revisiting memories of the people in your past who have rejected you, the person in your present situation is now lumped in with them and you see them as a perpetrator or villain (sometimes assuming and declaring them guilty without and true conclusive evidence that they ARE like the people from your past). You think to yourself, “That comment he made is the same comment my father made…just before he walked out and left us”. Now the person in your present is…”just like your father”. So you build an emotional wall as if bracing yourself for this person to hurt you.
- To victimize yourself or remain a victim - depending on the situation, you will gain a victim mentality either because you actually cannot get out of the situation or you think you can’t get out of it. Also, you may say such things as “I act this way because this person did this to me” instead of deciding to take both control and responsibility for your thoughts and actions. You may even become a victim of yourself by deciding to give in to thoughts that make you angry, jealous, guilty, resentful instead of loving, forgiving (yourself and others).
All of these emotions and actions can lead you to and leave you in a very dark place where you continually feel unworthy, unloved, rejected and disrespected….this dark place is called…depression.
If you have a history of rejection or abandonment in your life: Parental rejection, Peer rejection or Romantic rejection, someone dies and you feel abandoned, each time the holiday season approaches, in your mind, you think of all of these experiences; intellectually tabulating, making a list of the persons who rejected you with details of the rejections. You set your will according to what you are thinking –
“I don’t want to be around them because of what they did to me”,
“I don’t have anyone to celebrate the holiday with because of….”,
“My family never deals with real issues, we laugh and play and no one wants to talk about what is going on”
“Since dad died, the holidays just aren’t the same”
“Why did they leave me?”
Your personality may become passive – and you set your will (your action/re-action) to “not cause trouble”, “to avoid conflict”, “not be confrontational but ignore the problem”
Your personality becomes aggressive – and you set your will to “confront everyone about everything without tact or concern for others”, “self protect and attack before a perceived attack”
In both cases you are self-protecting, shielding yourself from dealing with the issue in a godly manner. How do you deal with depression in a godly manner?
Remember, you are a spirit, you have a soul, and you live in a body. Depression resides in the soul of man. With depression residing in the soul and the soul and spirit at war….there seems to be no way out of depression. It’s like fighting a losing battle. But be encouraged, the battle is not lost. There is deliverance from depression and Hope for the Holidays!
In our next lesson, we will conclude the series by taking a look at FALSE HOPE and TRUE HOPE and show you how to be delivered from depression.
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